Wednesday, December 6, 2017

I CAME HERE FOR MOTHERHOOD AND THE WIND



Motherhood, with its dreary duties and daily miracles, takes my breath.
So, this is what unconditional love is! 
How much I would have missed if those spirited souls had not used my body, like a common doorway, and came wailing into the great, wild world with their toothless gums wide with anger and their eyes squinched in utter despair.
I would do anything to turn those melodious and beautiful wails into giggles.
Anything!
And then two just as miraculously become three, and happy and humbled, I watched while my little boys, so bone-shatteringly quickly, went from golden optimism, and brown honor, and open smiles to men I struggle to even know. 
Wonderful men of responsibility, and knowledge, and kindness! 
But so new and different that I'm breathless with shock.
Shall I praise nature or fall to my face and cry?
I'll just sit down here a moment...
And try to catch my breath...
And pretend that I saw all this coming.

It's just the wind and me now.
Good thing the wind is my friend!
I knew it long ago and reveled in that knowing.
Each time the wind danced around me, I danced in its embrace. I called out to God and greatness with praises of joy and odes of thankfulness every time the wind caressed me, reminding me that I was here, that I was flesh, that I was joy itself. I danced alone,  then with my sons (Oh, say I found the time to teach them to dance in the wind!) and now I dance alone again.
A few times I was so caught up with fixing supper and getting baths that I barely danced at all.
But the wind forgives me.
Like a faithful pet it comes to my comfort.
Good thing the wind is my friend!

I came here for motherhood and the wind...