HOME SWEET HOME: THE GREEN HOUSE

Photo: Skitch on Israel
Taken By Daddy

THEN:    

     We lived in The Green house when I was four and five. Just as The White House wasn't in D.C. The Green House wasn't a conservatory full of growing plants. It was an odd little house, painted green, with rooms that didn't connect quite the way you would expect. You had to go outside and walk across the porch to get to the door to my sisters' bedroom; even at four I knew that was unusual.

     We must not have lived there very long because, although I was older, I have more memories from The White House.  

     I do remember that I started kindergarten while living there. I went three days and became a kindergarten drop out. The first day, I had a blast! I met a boy that I thought was really handsome and funny. His name was Robert, and I developed a fascination with him. Many years later, he would marry my niece Tanya, but at that time she wasn't even born yet. On the second day, the teacher slapped me on the leg. I had never been forced to take a nap in my life, and in this place, with all these kids, the last thing I wanted to do was sleep! I kept getting up to ask her if the nap could be over now and without saying she would spank me, she spanked me. I would have been on better behavior if I'd known that a spanking was even possible, but to me it came out of nowhere! I had never had a spanking that I could remember. Though I now know that Pop had actually spanked me when I was less than a year old. Mom says he panicked when I held my breath. He ran from one end of the house to another with me, begging me to breathe and shaking me. He truly thought he might have killed me. She says the moment the words, "Breathe baby and I swear I'll never spank you again!" came out of his mouth I took a deep breath and began to cry. Dad was rough on me one more time in my childhood, but he kept that word. He never spanked me. The day the teacher did, I came home so upset and told my parents that I never wanted to go to school again. 

     Pop said, "When we fall off the horse, Possumfrog, what do we do?" 

     I said, in a wee, reluctant voice, "We get right back on."

     He nodded, "But I tell you what - You go tomorrow, you get right back on that horse and give it one more try, and if you still want to quit after that then you can quit, but just until next year. Next year rolls around, and you have to go to first grade - like it or not. Understand?" I said I did, and I went one more day, just because Daddy said to, and then I became a kindergarten drop out. I didn't trust the teacher. I was just waiting for her to do some other unexpected and horrible thing!

     We had loads of good horses while we lived at The Green House. Flame, of course, was practically a member of the family. We had brought her with us from The White House and fine old red dame would spend my entire childhood with me and still be living at my parents home when I came back with children of my own. Gideon and Goliath, I believe, were bought while we lived at The Green House. At least, I remember looking out the window at them while Lila told me the names she had chosen for them, and I believe she would have named them right away. Still, I've often used their names when telling or writing the "Switching Plow Horses" story, which happened at The White House. Mostly that is because I can't remember the names of the plow horses Dad was using that day, and partly that's because (for a while) I actually thought it was those two horses. So, I fell into the habit and stuck with them. I'm certain they would not mind. I had a small horse named Israel that was my very own and I rode him most of all at that house. Gideon and Goliath were mine and Lila's horses, but I no longer remember which was mine and which was hers. They were like an old married couple that start to combine in your head after a bit. Gideon was taller and thinner. He had a bad eye and Goliath, the stouter and friendlier of the two, would tug on the ropes and reins if Gideon was near an embankment or a hill. He knew Gideon could not judge well on that side and Goliath would warn him with stern yanks on the harness when they were plowing together. If my blind pony had only had a friend like Goliath that pony would not have fallen over a hill and broke his neck and my dad would have never made up the lie about it "running away with the wild horses."

     While at The Green House I had some trouble with blood. I had nosebleed after nosebleed until my parents became concerned that I would literally bleed to death. I woke up with my pillow bloody. I had them when I sneezed, when I coughed, when I got bumped a little in the face. And I didn't have "normal" nosebleeds. I would have real gushers that went on and on. I can remember standing in the front seat of the car with mom while Daddy and some other men shot a bullet into a tree trunk, chopped down the tree, and removed the flattened bullet. Dad then took it home, poked a hole in it, added a string and tied it around my neck. I had my first necklace, a folklore-blood-stopping- bullet-necklace. I wish I still had it, and I must admit that I didn't have another nose bleed in all the years that it hung from my neck. 

     The other incident with blood was more deliberate, and much more mysterious. I'm not sure why I felt so much tension and fear as a child, but I know I did. I don't remember anyone ever being mean to me over my helplessness, but I remember being petrified by it. I was so relieved when I could finally reach the sink (by standing on a chair) and get my own drink of water. I remember wanting to never be a bother to mother or dad. And I remember cutting my fingers open and watching the blood ooze out and then slide down my fingers and pool in the palm of my hand. I would steal my father's razor blades, hide under mom's sewing machine or the kitchen buffet, and slice all ten of my fingers until they were bleeding. I don't remember ever being caught at this, but I do remember a strange and deep satisfaction at seeing the blood. I didn't understand it then or now, but it made some wrong thing right in my world. 

     At The Green House two of my favorite things to do were exercises with Mommy and television with Daddy. Every morning Mother and I would stretch, and do leg lifts, and sit ups, etc. I was fascinated by how beautiful she was, how smooth her skin was. In the evenings, Dad and I would watch something good on T.V. Our main go to programing was Tarzan and Daniel Boone. Those were our favorites and we rarely missed them. But some evenings we "made do" with Green Acres, Gun Smoke, Hercules, Sindbad the Sailor, or Petticoat Junction. During the day, I often watched one or two of the kids learning shows by myself. I loved Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers, Electric Company, and Sesame Street. One day, on Romper Room Miss Ann said "I see Dee Dee," while looking through her magic mirror. I ran through the house and excitedly told Mom and Dad! She had looked right into our home and seen me! I was sure of it!

     My sisters continued to be strong forces in my life, especially Lila. Sandi was distracted with high school and upward bound, rightfully so, but Lila remained my firm caretaker. She continued to date the man she would marry and have children with, but much of her time was still devoted to me. She told me stories and read poems to me. She wrote poems for me. She drew dozens of pictures of Snoopy, simply because I was fascinated with how well she could draw. She cooked half done fried potatoes for me in the evenings if I was hungry, and she taught me to put cucumbers on my face to fight off the acne I would not have for years. She and her friend Cathy brought me handfulls of the funny oval burrs that stuck to their clothing when they went walking through the woods and, in honor of our visitor, I named the burrs "Cathies" and wore them on my shirt like jeweled broaches. I would later teach all Lila's children to wear these silly ornaments and to call them "Cathies". Lila found a small ashtray that looked like a fish. I was fascinated with the colors on it, especially a very pretty shade of green, already it was my favorite color. She said I could have it and I thought it was a great and grand treasure. I carried it around for ages like a toy.

    In a small room or walk in closet we found a huge collection of Reader's Digests. I became fascinated with the artwork on the back page and I would drag out book after book and stare at the art. Eventually asking someone to read to me. Lila and Sandi were best at this and would read practically anything to me. They seemed to know that what I could understand was icing and what I gleaned from their calm and beautiful voices was the cake itself, the best cake ever! My days at The Green House never left my mind's eye and neither did the special people I shared that home with.