TO THE SO CALLED FRIENDS OF MY ALIENATING CHILDREN

There is so much I would like to say to you, so many points I'd like to make.

I could start with, "How could you?" and end with a plea for basic human compassion. In the middle, I could write chapters about unity instead of division, love over hatred, and peace instead of war. I could spend at least a page or two reminding you that we should never judge someone by the gossip we hear about them. I could share and dissect my favorite quote of all time:

"You can tell more about someone by listening to what they say about others than you can by listening to what others say about them." (Leo Aikman)

I could write a book for you; I really could...

But I won't.

I'll keep my words and my pain tighter and more concise.

I must admit that you hurt my heart, that your words, supporting and even encouraging my children in their decision to ostracize me, cut me to the bone, that your contempt for me, a person you do not even know, completely blindsided me. Why do you dislike me? Better yet, why do you, their so-called "friend" dislike my children?

I'll also admit that you and your actions puzzle me, perhaps more than anything else in this whole miserable, messed up, painful, and puzzling situation.

When MY friends are upset, I calm them instead of stirring them up into a fury. I help them understand the other side of the story. I attempt to be a peacemaker and a unifier. I help them find a shelter from their emotional storm. I discourage drama for drama's sake. I help them reconcile with the people in their lives, especially if those people are family that adore them!

I'll tell you that I believe in karma and usually I'm a pretty big fan of karma's work, but this time, not so much.

I do believe what goes around usually comes around. I believe that, if you are very lucky you will someday be my age with children near the age you are now.

I hope those children never ostracize you! I hope they never show you how this feels! I hope they love you, and respect you, and do their very best to understand you. Because I would not wish this pain on even my worst enemy.

Perhaps you've been rejected by a lover. I can sympathize. I have been there. I can remember that pain, and I can tell you that being rejected by the child you hold in the parenting places of your heart hurts .so. much. more! It hurts more than any other pain I've endured, and pain is my long-time companion. I am no stranger to emotional or physical pain, but this is THE pain I wish on no one, not even on you, my child's so-called-friend that hurt my beloved child by your decision to respond with anger and drama when my child needed hope, kindness, and understanding.

This pain I would not wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. But why, oh why, did you, dear pretend friend of my child, decide to be my worst enemy?