WHY MY KIDS WERE ALLOWED TO SKIP SCHOOL

Swinging!
Cory and Liam

THEN:

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can tell you that, on a personal level, I did allow my kids to take what our family called "Skip Days." These were days they could take off simply because they needed a break. Our rules were pretty simple: If they were crying "sick" (which they rarely did) then they went to the doctor if they had a fever or vomiting if no fever or vomiting, they stayed home all day and practiced boredom. After the doctor, when they went, they practiced boredom. Boredom is not necessarily a bad thing. I wanted my kids to hear their own thoughts sometimes, you know? We allowed no video games and very little TV time for sick kids. Books and conversation with Mom were fine. I did this because I did not want them stirred up, I thought boredom could actually be necessary now and then, and I did not want them lying about being sick just to miss school. Worked like a charm and my boys were almost never sick.

The idea for Skip Days came about when my first husband graduated high school. We were just dating at the time, and I should have graduated with him, but I had failed school twice and dropped out entirely in the 8th grade. But even at the tender age of 18, I wanted my kids to do much better in school than I did. At that graduation I was an audience member and I had a completely different view and attitude than the kids that were graduating. I noticed that the kids that were awarded for perfect attendance were the very ones I would have considered suicide risks, (especially the one given a 12 year perfect attendance award!) All these kids were miserable creatures that had dragged into class sharing their flu or virus with the whole school! I swore then and there that my kids would never worry about perfect attendance.
Couple this with the fact that I had some harrowing experiences at school: One teacher just decided she hated me (I was under 8 years old!) and she abused and tormented me emotionally and verbally for a year. One decided I was the kind of girl that needed a spanking once a week (wink wink) whether I had done anything wrong or not. This man bruised my ass 24 times in one school year, and I was an adult before I realized he was probably getting a sexual kick out of it. I was sexually harassed and bullied on a near daily basis at two of the three schools I attended and often at the other school. My parents never knew a thing about any of this! I was no tattle tale!  I was going to handle my own problems!

Although, I tried to make sure my kids knew that going to your mom with a problem from school is not being a tattle tale, I was acutely aware that we don't always know what is going on in their lives once they march off to class. And my kids were almost never sick! Thank God! So, in case they were facing the sort of stuff I had to get up to almost every morning, I created Skip Days. If my kids had not missed school due to sickness or appointments during the six weeks, if they had decent grades (Cs and above, I was not going to stress them out as long as the grades were average or better) and they just needed a break we took "Skip Days" and loved every minute of it! We sometimes just sat around watching cartoons and eating cereal with milk but sometimes we did super fun stuff, like going to the county fair or zoo. But I made sure we took the time, on those Skip Days especially, to talk about bullying and abuse. I dug into what was really going on with them, just as much as they would allow. Adults take "personal days". I did not see any reason in the world why kids should not take a personal day now and then as well. Most of my kid's teachers were fully aware that I did this and they were never negative about it. A few of them praised the idea. My parent notes were never lies. They said things like, "Please excuse Cory from class on Wednesday. We did not feel like structure was needed on 04-17-02."  or "Will did not feel like school on Friday. Please excuse his absence." Not once did they get an unexcused absence for these days, and if anyone had tried to give them 3 days punishment for it, as they seem to be doing at some schools now, heads would have rolled!!!

PS: The miserable "12 years for perfect attendance" kid that I went to school with is dead.